How LUSHious: Haul/Review

About three weeks ago, I accidentally entered myself into a contest on Instagram.

Typically, I'm not a fan of social media contests and giveaways. I don't care for them. I don't want to like videos and comment what my favorite color is in the doobly doo, because quite frankly, I don't think the vlogger/blogger/tweeter/instagrammer cares. Cynical, sarcastic Kim firmly believes that giveaways are not so much about "giving back" as they are a way of cultivating likes/followers/traffic/etc. Plus, thousands to millions of people participate in these things, making my odds miniscule, and I'm not a gambling woman.

But then I won.

(I feel like someone's going to call BS on this, so here's the photo to prove it. I have a strange obsession with taking mask selfies. Clearly, I spend far too much time alone.)

Anyway, LUSH Cosmetics decided I was worthy of a $200 gift card, which I didn't believe (but was super excited about) for a solid 24 hours. I bought a bunch of items that I've wanted to try for a while but never felt like investing in, and I spent a whopping $7.50 of my own money to get speedier shipping because surprise! LUSH does not have a storefront in Arkansas. The closest one is nearly 5 hours away. In Dallas. I'm not making that drive.

With all of my goodies in tow, I decided to make myself useful to the online community in the form of a haul/review. So if you're new to the LUSH world or you're like me and enjoy the products you have but are wary of investing in other products (because, you know, money), I hope this helps with your decision making and consumerism. My overall impression of the company is at the bottom, so if you just want to look through ridiculous photos and read that, be my guest. I'm not here to impress.

Things I bought:

1. Mask of Magnaminty (not part of giftcard haul)

I bought this guy when I was in Illinois because I needed him, and I purposely waited to get him. I've used him three or four times since, and as you can see, the relationship is going well.

See? Unnatural obsession with mask selfies.

Pros: Looks like mint chocolate chip ice cream, smells like mint, cools face while sucking crap out of my pores, a little bit goes a long way, cats run away from me when I use it.
Cons: Kale makes for random bumps on my face when I was expecting a smooth application, leaves globs in sink, disagrees with shower drain (but then again, my drain likes to clog once a month, so take that with a grain of salt).

2. Marilyn

I'm pretty sure a sales lady at the LUSH in Illinois upsold me on this, but I am a huge fan of this product. It's a treatment with natural hair brighteners (lemon juice), and it makes my blonde hair pop. I bought a replacement tub with my giftcard; that shows commitment.

Pros: Brightens hair for about five days, washes out easily, does not stain clothes/skin (I'm so messy), smells pretty awesome on my hair.
Cons: For my length of hair (falls an inch above the boob), I only get three uses out of a tub; sniffing it while it's in the tub is a bad idea.

3. Big

My hair is fine and thin, so I try to do whatever I can to keep it from looking like a drowned rat. But I'm also picky when it comes to shampoo, so I thought I'd try this out and see how it goes. I'd have to say that this is my least favorite item in the haul because no matter how much I wash it out, it makes my hair feel elastic and weird afterward. But maybe that's just what volumizing shampoo does? I don't know, but I'm eh about it.

Pros: Smells divine, lathers like a beast, a little bit goes a long way, no crazy hair chemicals.
Cons: Makes my hair squeak, feels like I just waxed a car.

4. Dark Angles

I previously bought LUSH's Ocean Salt face scrub/cleanser, and although it took forever to get to my house, I really enjoyed using it. I think the website was out of the big tub at the time, and Dark Angels' big tub was slightly cheaper, so I decided to go that route. The directions say to take out a small piece and add water until it becomes a paste.

Volcano turd.

Aaaannnnnd it looks like poop. I immediately started laughing and figured that it was going to look awesome on my face.

Nothing like wiping volcano turds on your face for a "natural cleanse."

And it did. But in all seriousness, I like this a lot. Right now, I'm leaning toward the Ocean Salt because it's easier to manipulate on my face, but this guy holds up. And it tickles my funny bone.

Pros: Feels like it works/does something productive to my face right away, smells fine, a little bit goes a long way, easy to rinse, uses volcanoes as an ingredient.
Cons: Looks like dirt, smells like fancy dirt, getting a good paste consistency is harder than it looks.

5. Turkish Delight

I had no idea what to expect from a shower smoothie, but the internet told me it was good, so I figured I would try it out. I was pleasantly surprised. Basically, you just grab a bit of this and use it like you would a bar of soap. But it's not quite soap, and not quite shower gel.

Pros: Smells good, but not as smelly as I thought it was going to be; will get many uses from it; lathers well; doesn't leave dry squeaky feeling that bar soap does.
Cons: I couldn't open the tub in the shower -- turns out you need dry hands. This, however, likely was user error.

6. Popcorn 

Not literally. Geez, guys.

Holy moley, I love this stuff. It's a sugar scrub, and the directions practically tell you to lick this off your lips when you're done with it. And it smells like buttery kettle corn. Mmmmmm. I've used it fiveish times before I took the above photo, and it still looks brand new. I may have this forever.

Pros: That smell though, easy application, instructs me to eat sugar a few times a week, rough but gentle on lips, can see results with consistent use, jar was overfilled with product, a wee bit goes a long way.
Cons: Sugar will leave sticky residue if you lick it off your lips like an animal. But is that really a con?

7. Honey Trap

I like lip balms. It was cheap.

Pros: Smells great, feels great on lips, don't need much for adequate coverage, tin is super cute.
Cons: Not a fan of using my finger to apply lip balm; I always feel like I waste product that way.

8. Bath Melts

Clearly, this was not how these guys are supposed to look. My confirmation email for my order told me I would be sent a tracking link once my package ships. I never was sent that link, so I didn't know it was coming, and my package sat outside in 90-degree weather for god knows how many hours. The bath melts still are useable; I've just chosen to keep them in their packaging to prevent further meltage onto my things.

Pros: They smell great, but I haven't used them yet, and I wasn't in a bath mood during this photoshoot.
Cons: They melted and oozed out onto my stuff. In fairness, that's their one job, but I would've preferred to know they were coming to prevent this tragic fate.

9. Oodles of Bath Bombs, Bubble Bombs...and a soap (two not part of giftcard haul)

Disregard my toilet lid. I am not a professional photographer.

As you can see, I am a big enough fan to get an absurd amount of these guys. I even bought a basket to house them until their joyful demise. Depending on the kind you get, they're a relatively inexpensive addition to a bath, for those of you who are bath people. P.S. They don't melt.

Pros: I have never smelled such wonderful bath things, bath bombs make water a fun color, don't leave gross residue on skin (like other bombs I've tried), inexpensive, huge variety.
Cons: Bath bombs are a little chalky and will leave residue on your fingers/nose, making you look like a coke addict, depending on what you huffed sniffed.

10. Volcano

The title without the subhead is misleading...and alarming.

This, by far, is my favorite product in the haul. I'm actually super disappointed that I didn't get a larger tub, or a vat. First of all, the name says  it all. If I'm going to put volcanoes on any part of my body, it's going to be a good day. Like a pro, I followed the instructions, and here's what happened:

Put goop on foot, check!

I applied volcano goop with the back of a spoon because I was also eating those Oreos, and I didn't want to stop gorging myself to test this product. And why should I? I have two hands for a reason. Also, I was conservative with the goop application because I want to get one more use out of it. If you like foot masks, do yourself a favor and get the big size.

Wrap my feet up like yesterday's leftovers, check!

I didn't think this activity could get any better, but then I was instructed to wrap my feet in plastic wrap so the goop didn't dry. Like a 3-year-old, I found this absolutely fascinating. And a great excuse to put my feet on the table. After letting it sit and a good rinse, my feet felt clean, soft, and awesome. I also got a lot of dead skin and dirt off of my right toe, which apparently is a breeding ground for that stuff.

Pros: Smells so fricken good, uses volcano as an ingredient, felt like it was warming my feet, easy to apply, easy to rinse off, saw and felt results with first application.
Cons: Little tub yields about two uses, which is not enough for me. I'm so bummed.

Overall impression of LUSH (compiled from this haul and past experiences):

Obviously, I support this company and what it stands for, or I wouldn't have mentioned it in my accidental Instagram entry to begin with, nor would I have spent my own money on its products on two separate occasions, once while I was unemployed. The company also is trying to effect change by publicly fighting against animal testing, supporting sharks (yes, the saltwater creature), and donating to grassroots charities. I think that's pretty cool, and I commend companies that try to make the world a better place.

LUSH's products are handmade, and I believe all are at least vegetarian. Some are vegan. I'm neither of those (and I guess technically I'm not handmade), so that doesn't affect me much. But I know a lot of people care about that sort of thing, and it's worth pointing out.

The storefront I went to was small, but the employees were friendly and welcoming. I don't feel like they were hovering, but I did chat one or two women up about different products. Those women were helpful and knowledgeable about the products, so I didn't mind giving them my business. I think the products are adequately priced, and there are a range of sizes from which to choose, so you don't have to invest a ton of money into something you haven't tried before. Plus, I got free samples. I like free samples.

My only issues stem from my online experiences. The first time I ordered online, the package didn't get to me until more than two weeks after I ordered it. One of the products' "use before" dates was literally two days after I received it, and I was kind of pissed. I used the product way after the date mentioned, and it was fine, but it seemed to lose some of its luster as the weeks went by. Still, it lasted quite some time. The second time I ordered, I never received an email with a tracking link, so I had no clue the package was coming. (I honestly thought it was taking a while to process, like last time.) I was pleasantly surprised the order came so early (five days from when I ordered it), but I purposely paid more to have a faster delivery time. My melts melted, and a $200 dollar order was sitting on my stoop for at least four hours. Not cool.

So there it is. Good products. Good company. Good cause. I wouldn't advise against ordering online, but I would be cautious and cognizant of the time it takes to get the delivery as well as the climate in which you live. And although I'm still going to steer clear of social media giveaways for the most part, I won't be upset if I accidentally enter myself into another one.

Happy shopping!

Running Around (Like an Idiot)

I am not a runner.

I mean, I guess I was as a kid. I enjoyed playing freeze tag, cops and robbers, pigpen, and games of that nature. But even those games had built-in breaks (frozenness, jail, the pen). As I got older, junior high introduced timed and graded runs, and I was the worst. I had no idea how to pace myself. I never hydrated properly. And I. Always. Gasped. For. Breath. In high school, I asked one of my gym teachers how much these graded runs were worth. The minute he told me they were worth only 10 percent of my grade was the minute I stopped caring. And running.

So of course my sister laughed at me when I told her I was going to start running -- Couch to 5K to be exact. Yes, it was the third or fourth time this year I swore I was going to use the app, but it real this time. A work friend wanted to start running and, eventually, 5K-ing with her husband, and I half told her I would do it/half invited myself along for the ride. I couldn't disappoint her; this friendship was too new! How would I survive if I lost one of my only friends in Arkansas? I wouldn't. So I had to run.

Sure you will, my sister scoffed.

Then we told my dad, who, in his infinite wisdom, drove me to the running shoe store, made me do the running shoe test, and bought me neon purple and yellow running shoes. That was it. I was indebted to my father yet again, so now I had to run.

One month later, and I haven't quit yet. I'm starting week four of Couch to 5K (sickness in July caused me to miss a week of running and blogging. Boo), and it's getting intense. I have to jog for five whole, uninterrupted minutes, multiple times, which I honest to god have not done in 10 years. The app also inserts random "jog for 20 minutes" workouts in the weeks ahead, and I absolutely cannot wait for those. Guh. Running.

I have, however, learned a great many facts about running and the running community in my short stint as a jog/walker. Some may bewilder you. Some may surprise you. And some may make me look like a noob. As always, you're welcome.

***

Fact: Running costs more than you think
I guess if you wanted to, you could run around in some old apparel, but if you're the average American consumer (me), you need running outfits, running shoes, a place to put your key, an armband for your phone, new headphones because the other ones keep falling out of your ears, new socks that help your feet breathe, an app to tell you when to run and walk, more outfits because it's now 90 degrees and capris won't cut it, more sports bras because you actually sweat and make them smell now, more body wash because you stink, music worth running to, extra food (we'll get to that), all sorts of water, water bottles because the always get lost, and maybe some Gatorade. I'm not even including the cost to participate in 5Ks, a heart monitor if you want one, reflecty lights if you run at night and all the other goofy fancy stuff that I don't have yet, but probably will get eventually. Running is no joke; running is capitalism.

Fact: Hydration is a thing, and it needs to happen
If you aren't well-versed in the summer climate of Arkansas, I can sum it up in one word: Sweltering. Apparently, this summer is mild, but I don't believe it. Not only do I have to wait to run when I come home, I also have to suck down water like a camel all freaking day or else I cramp. Bad. Like someone is stabbing me in the side "Et tu Brute?" bad. So I drink water stuff all day and pee constantly and still huff and puff and feel like death outside. My dad owns what I can only describe as a water utility belt. It is just like a carpenter's belt, but only hold water bottles. He says I need to invest in one. Just add it to my list.

Fact: All roads lead to my big ass hill
I live at the top of a steep hill. When I wasn't running, I didn't care. Now that I run, I hate it. I hate feeling like I'm going to fall on the way down. I hate luring myself into a false sense of security about the finality of a 30-minute jog/walk combo just to see the monster of a cul-de-sac mocking my cool down period. Oh, you wanted to slow your heart rate? Fat chance! I'm a huge butthole of a hill, and years of erosion hasn't made a difference. Suck it, human. And, begrudgingly, I do.

Fact: Music helps
My good friend Nora got into running some time ago, and she loves it. When I visited Illinois last month, she stopped by, and (among other things) told me that having the right music really helped her run. She listened to One Direction over and over again, and it pumped her up. I thought it was awesomely hilarious, so I said I would try it with some album. And here's where I have to thank A Great Big World's debut CD for being my running album of choice. It is so upbeat, so ridiculous, so well-thought-out that I couldn't imagine listening to anything else on shuffle or repeat. So thanks, guys. You rock.

Fact: Support systems make it easier, sometimes
Like I said, I started running the same program with my work friend. She does it, her man does it, and Jason does it (but tells me he hates it all the time). It's nice to run with people. It's nice to run with people who run at your speed. And it's okay to run with people who are a foot taller and have longer femurs and casually jog three houses ahead of you and stop because they can't hear your app anymore. And sometimes you have to run alone because the fast-femured one pisses you off and won't run when you want to run and you just want to listen to your music and not worry about regulating someone else's workout. I love you, honey. Really, I do.

Fact: You get to experience cool nature things
Once, Jason and I were out running and we saw a hawk sitting on a fence no more than 10 feet away. Some sparrow was antagonizing the hawk, and it was hilarious. And if you know me, you know that I am obsessed with birds of prey. So that was cool. Also on that run, Jason and I were jogging back to the house, and he shouted "snake," so I casually trotted around the snake. He was skinny and brown. I wanted to investigate him further, but I didn't. Fast forward to this morning: I was cooling down and saw the severed half of what I believe to be the snake from that run. I investigate the remaining tail portion of the deceased reptile, and there was clearly a rattle attached to the end of it. So now I like to think I avoided certain death by listening to my boyfriend. I'm sure he's proud.

Fact: The route possibilities are endless
Right now, my primary route consists of a little culs-de-sac-filled side street that is relatively flat compared to the rest of my neighborhood. I sprinkle in a few downtown runs here and there, but I mostly just love to fantasize about the day I get brave enough to take on a busier street or the neighborhood next door. Basically, my running life is a real-time version of "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" I just haven't gotten much of anywhere yet. One day I will. You'll see.