Playing Bride: A Hot Mess on Wheels

Well, it's been a few months. My bad. I've learned very, very quickly, that as soon as a ring gets slapped on one's finger, one IMMEDIATELY becomes consumed with all things wedding. What started as picking up three bridal magazines turned into a crazy organizational nightmare. I now have a (green) wedding binder, a complete wedding workbook and book book, multiple Excel spreadsheets chronicling all sorts of budgets and listings, a monthly planner that I attempt to use religiously but have failed for the past two weeks, random scraps of paper, two Pinterest boards, a few checklists detailing my life for the next 10 months, and a slowly growing pile of receipts in a drawer.

Wedding planning, my friend, is daunting.

Apparently, regular human girls dream up their wedding and plan it a million different ways as they progress through puberty and, well, life. I never got past the dress. What can I say; I just like dresses. And now it's like the nuptial version of "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie." If you give a Kim a pretty ring, she's going to want to get married somewhere cool. If Kim chooses somewhere cool to get married, she's going to want a wedding dress that makes her butt look awesome. If she finds that dress, she'll first ask the consultant if she can walk around the entire store to check out said butt, and then she'll realize she actually wants to wear the veil with glitter trim. Do you see what my life has turned into? Can you see what I've become?

 Here's what I've we've done so far:


We set a date!

September 26, 2015, to be exact.

Let me tell you, that makes this ordeal a whole heck of a lot more real.


We found a venue!

So I crashed a wedding and took pictures of the setup. Sue me.

Story time: For three summers during my high school/college career, my dad's side of the family took family vacations to Camdenton, Missouri. Everyone stayed in condos on the lake, and we spent a week lounging on boats, water skiing, and genuinely enjoying each other's company. Afterward, we'd gather at someone's condo to eat and play Phase 10 with the cousins late into the night. Those vacations were, hands down, the best (and most relaxing) of my life. Seriously. I would cry off and on the whole way home. I'm pretty sure those days were little pieces of Missouri Heaven.

While vacationing, we stopped by this winery, Casa de Loco, which sits on a cliff and used to be an insane asylum. It wasn't officially open yet, but the owner took us on a tour of all the rooms and renovations. I loved it. And I wasn't of legal drinking age yet, so you know it must have been something special. Or it could've been the space-age showers. Who knows.

So I returned, with Leslie, fiveish years later to see if I still loved it. And, surprise, I did.

D'aw. We're so cute! Minus my half lazy eye.

Hey girl heyyyy! Guys. They have wine on tap. I want to go to there. Tomorrow.

I was being an artist (aka buzzing), so here's an artsy shot of Leslie looking off into the mosquito-filled distance.

That view. Worth it.

And then we won a grape-stomping contest, so we came back with our men and wore fancy hats to the wine tasting. And, much like those vacations, we spent the evening relaxing (drinking) and playing cards (Cards Against Humanity). It was a grand ol' time.

These are the people I choose to hang out with.

I don't have any real ties to Arkansas, my dad's side of the family still is in Illinois, my mom's side is all over the place, and let's not even get started on Jason's family. No one lives in the same spot, so we made up our own -- and it's kind of, sort of, in the middle. Ish.

We took this before we went to Casa. At a castle. Because 'Murica has castles, too.

I found a dress!

I can't say much about it because, contrary to popular belief, Jason can read. So just know that I have it, it makes my assets (lolololol butt) look great, and everyone cried. Even Caroline. Lindsey was in town, so we also went kind of bridesmaid dress shopping. I was eh about the selection at David's, but I was on a dress high so I took pictures.

Using my powers for evil. Womp womp.

We chose our wedding party!

I'm actually going to write another post about this later (with embarrassing pictures), so I'm not going to give a lot away. The important thing to take away from this is that I have a bridesman and Jason has a groomslady. Take that, social norms!


We took engagement photos!

I think I really, really like this one. Winner!

Remember all those mushy photos on Facebook that looked really well planned? That was not me. That was Leslie's saint of a friend, Heather, who owns and operates Roeh Photography. She was absolutely wonderful. She was in "go" mode the minute we met her at the first location, and I felt like I was a model. Seriously. You never know what constant interjections like "awesome" or "you look amazing" can do. You also don't know how weird it is to hear someone you've met only twice before this shout, "Okay kiss him!" or "No, really, kiss him," while pointing a really expensive lens at your face and hitting a tiny button all rapid-fire style.

When the photographer says kiss, you kiss. You don't ask questions.

I think it went well.
  

So now what?

Well, I just got these photos from Heather, so you better believe I'm looking at save-the-date postcards on Zazzle. I'm also looking for cat cake toppers. Priorities.

In conclusion...

In an attempt to hold onto my sanity, I'm going to chronicle the roller coaster of emotion that is wedding planning here. Because...why not? It's not like I have anything else to do.

Well, I'm off. It's about time to have a meltdown over color scheme. Again.

The Engagement, In (Mostly) Photos

About a week ago, Jason and I took a two-tiered mini vacation. The first stop was to meet up with my (blood and chosen) families to watch one of my dearest friends, Michael (he goes by Mike, but meh), marry his now-wife, Jamee, in the-middle-of-nowhere western Illinois. It was beautiful, they did great, and I only cried a little bit.

The second stop was an extended stay in St. Louis. Based on how much he talks about it, I'd venture to say this is one of Jason's favorite cities. He'd been begging me to visit and witness the true magic of being a Cardinal fan since we started dating, so I figured I'd finally oblige. Our plan was to go to Six Flags, the St. Louis zoo, the Gateway Arch, and catch a few Cardinals games.

Oh. And apparently get engaged.

On our second day in St. Louis, we met up with Jason's brother, Chad, his sister-in-law, Kate, and their kids, Eli and Rachel, in the morning to visit the Arch. They come with camera and camcorder in tow to "take pictures of and videotape the kids." I realize now that this was at least a half lie. But at the time, I was too busy looking at the gigantic metal thing to notice.

But seriously, this thing is massive.

So we get inside, go up the tiny, yet space-age pods to the viewing area, and it's super gorgeous. Full of people, but man, what a view. I've been told this was Proposal Plan A, but Jason didn't like the crowd, so he went for Proposal Plan B.

A beautiful view of the city. And I only had to sit in a tiny pod with strangers to see it!

The other viewing area, which was lackluster. Jason really liked the casino, though. Priorities.

A wonky selfie. And look at that smug grin! He knows! That bugger knows what he's about to do and I'm all like, "Ooooh a helipad on the water! I thought it was a basketball court!"

There it is. The first stuffed bear of the west. 'Murica.

After taking in the Museum of Westward Expansion, in which the kids thought the mechanical humans were real humans and I decided I wanted to live in a teepee, we walked out to a leg of the arch to "take more pictures." I mean, I understand the parental need to document the lives of the children, but more pictures? Really? I was hungry, and I really wanted to get to the stadium to have a snack and drink watch a fantastic baseball game. But the kids are cute, and Chad and Kate are so, so nice (see that great family plug, Jason? ;) ), so a few more pictures weren't going to hurt.

And now, the main event. The documentation of our engagement. In photos.

We stand in front of the graffiti and Jason INSISTS on holding my hand like this. This is not how we take pictures. As you can see, I am so not amused.

You can tell Jason is concentrating really hard because he's clenching his fist. I'm still annoyed, but I put on a happy face for the camera.

Whoops! Jason, you've fallen. Why don't you come back up and we can take a real photo where you put your arm around me and stuff? Then we can all go get a beer!

Holy god. This is not a drill. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Jason's speech: Kim, you have changed my life for the better...

...I can't do this right now. I'll tell you later. Will you marry me?

So I guess I got emotional when he pulled out the ring. I don't recall this, but I don' recall much of any of it.

Typical woman. Always crying over emeralds. (Fun fact: Jason said I didn't have to shower OR worry about how I looked that day. So there I am, sweaty, smelly, ponytail full of bumps, mosquito bites all over my legs, carrying a cat wristlet, all because this guy doesn't think a proposal isn't worth a shower.)

Eh. I said yes anyway. Actually, I didn't say yes at all. I just nodded vigorously. My mom was impressed that Jason is the only person in this world to render me speechless. Way to go, dude.

Jason: Let me show you the ring again.
Me: Uhh, you know you have to put that on my hand, right?

Jason: OH RIGHT! I forgot about that.
This man would lose his head if it weren't on his shoulders.

On goes the ring.

When we hugged, Rachel shouted, "They love each other!" I am so upset that I didn't hear it.

Obligatory engagement kiss.

Close up of the gorgeous ring. And, coincidentally, my curling iron burn. Cried over that one, too.

But seriously, that Arch is huge.

Thank you again, Chad and Kate, for calming Jason's nerves and documenting my favorite Labor Day of all time. A huge shout out to Princess Kitty -- without her (and a toddler meltdown), there is a good chance I would've seen the ring box go through the metal detector. And, of course, the kiddos deserve huge hugs for being so hilarious and entertaining; I was way too busy paying attention to them to notice how nervous and tense Jason was.

And the biggest thank you for all the well wishes from our family and friends. Jason and I are so lucky to have you all, we love you, and we're excited to get this show on the road!