Tour de Zoo: St. Louis

Besides slapping a ring on it, Jason had some pretty cool plans for our mini stay in St. Louis. My personal favorite, by far, was our day at the St. Louis Zoo.

Quick Backstory: Early on in our relationship, the two of us learned about our mutual love for zoos and animals. We decided that one of our lifelong ambitions is to partake in a "Tour de Zoo," where we'd take a massive vacation to visit a cluster of zoos in the U.S. (I want to go abroad, too, but we have oodles of things to do before then.) Although we haven't taken our Tour yet, we have managed to visit zoos in six different states. So that's pretty cool.

The St. Louis Zoo is regarded as one of the top zoos in the country (yes, I actively look this stuff up), so I made sure we made a point to go there. Overall, I was impressed. These people know how to make a zoo look and feel like a different world, even though it's five minutes away from a major highway. And the animals. So many animals. I'd be here forever with pointless stories about all of them, but lucky for you, Jason and I made a nifty top 10 list, complete with pictures.

I know, I know; we're so hip and cool.

Top 10 Animals at the St. Louis Zoo:

10. Hippos

Forgive the glare. It's hard to get a good shot of napping hippos behind glass.

Hippos terrify me. They are, apparently, super territorial and don't want you hanging out anywhere near their land (water?), ladies, and babies. And have you seen that mouth? Huge. Loud. Terrifying.

And yet, in zoos, they just sit. On land, in the water, doesn't matter. They sit, or they sleep. It must be nice.

These hippos also were sleeping, but the enclosure was created in such a way that the hippo pod (herd? gang?) enjoyed napping against the glass, which made for some pretty awesome pictures.

Dat face, tho.

Jason also wanted me to mention that the fish were nibblin' on the hippos skin. Or dirt on the skin. Or something. And it was pretty cool to watch the circle of life happen in front of your eyes. You keep doing you, fish.

9. Goats

Look at his little goat mountain! Is he not super adorable?

I love goats too much for my own good. I will spend an hour, at least, in the goat tent at the local fair. I love watching videos of goats. I can't help it. They are cute and friendly and loving and I NEED one. I've been promised one as a wedding gift, so hopefully I don't have to wait much longer.

Would this be an appropriate time to tell you that, as a child, I let a goat out of the corral at the children's zoo at Brookfield Zoo? No? Didn't think so.

These goats were all right. The zookeeper said they were all in their mountain hut because they thought it might rain again, which was a bummer, but the ones that I got to pet were pretty cool. We said we were going to stop by on the way out, but that never materialized. The goats became yesterday's news once we saw some of the characters at this zoo.

Aww. Don't you just want to take him to a baseball game?

8. Stingrays

Note: I have no stingray photos because I a) didn't want to accidentally drop my phone in the water and b) forgot. Deal with it.

I know stingray feeding and petting are all the rage these days, but I still found this area pretty cool. They had the regular cownose rays (the ones with the cute-shaped faces) and a few massive southern stingrays (with pointy noses). The nice zookeeper lady told us to avoid feeding Zena, a pointy nose, if we were first-time feeders because she "feeds differently," which was just a nice way of saying that she kind of has to crawl up your arm and smash your hand onto the wall because her mouth is lower than the other guys. The nice zookeeper lady also told us that the rays can see your hand and choose whether to swim close enough to feel your hand on their skin, and if they really like you, they will circle around for another pat.

I watched one circle back for Jason three times. No joke. They were in love.

7. Elephants

This guy (girl?) was having a hell of time giving itself a dirt bath. Hilarious.

Never have I seen such active elephants in such a huge space. There were three or four huge areas dedicated to the family/families of elephants, and I could tell by the map that we were only seeing about half of the total space dedicated to them. And that's good because these guys are huge.

So I thought this lonely elephant was pretty cool, but it was time to move on. Suddenly, another elephant appeared. And they were being all cute, touching forehead to forehead, hugging each other's trunk...but still, I wasn't digging it. They walk away, we walk to a different area, and this magic happens...

LOOK AT NATURE'S MIRACLE!

A BABY! It was so cute and dark and cuddly. Even Jason aww-ed.

Elephants are to elephant food as I am to pierogi.

And a shout out to this elephant, who skillfully maneuvered a stream and three stepping stones to eat a pile of hay. That's dedication, friends.

6. Golden Lion Tamarin

He's a little blurry because he had places to be. All of the places. All at once.

GLTs are my favorite monkeys. Their coats are bright, they have super cute hands, and I once watched a pair of them harass a sloth. These little tykes are a sight to behold, and I audibly gasped when I noticed they were in the monkey house. (Jason was busy watching the lemurs.) I hung out with this guy for a solid 10 minutes. It was the best.

I kid you not, he was entranced by my ring.

I just Google image searched for GTL babies. Oh my word. I have been killed by cuteness.

He loved scratching himself on the glass. GLTs: they're just like us.

5. The Painter

There he is, in his natural habitat.

There was a painter painting an exhibit in the reptile house. I tried not to stare too much, but I managed to snag this picture of him. I absolutely loved the scene he was painting, and he had a good humor about the nature of his gig.

This guy really gets into his work.

It reads: The painter is a subspecies of common human beings, whose habitat ranges all over the globe. They can often be distinguished from normal humans by the paint splatters on their clothing. Painters often spend long hours applying colorful pigments onto flat surfaces. Experts have been unable to identify the evolutionary advantage of this adaptation, though there are many theories.

Hilarious. 

His name is Patrick. If you want to check him out, visit his blog here.

4. Tree Kangaroo

She looks so haggard. Poor girl.

Jason was obsessed with this animal. Seriously, he thought it was super cool. I was okay with her, but she seemed tired and sad, and I really wanted to pet the guinea pigs, so...

But then her belly moved. Not flexing or bloating. No. I'm talking a full on, alien-bursting-from-the-chest movement.

Turns out there's a joey in there. Her fifth, actually. And he's (she's?) a handful. No wonder why momma's so tired.

3. The Insectarium

I may be a little late, but you probably shouldn't read this part if you hate bugs and/or spiders.
PS- That spider is bigger than my hand. You're welcome!

So I'm not too crazy about bug houses. I enjoy looking at cool insects as long as they're not on my body, but really, there's only so much a house full of them can do for me. Or so I thought.

This insect house is massive. Everywhere you turn, there are more (and bigger) bugs to behold. Spiders and I have a love/hate relationship, and even I ogled at that huge one above. He was so cool. And so big. And so orange. He's practically the size of a Golden Lion Tamarin, so I'm sure he's fine.

I thought these spiders were big until I saw the orange guy. My bad.

I've never been so mesmerized by creepy crawlies before. I got to stand an inch away from a beautiful web and not worry about whether it was going to cling to my arm. And who knew there were so many different types of mantises?

Turns out millipedes "secrete bitter chemicals for defense." Right into Ophelia's eye.

But we're not done yet. You think you're almost done with this building, but then you see a sign for a butterfly flower garden, and how can you say no? Jason and I spent forever in there watching them flutter around. We even got a "identify the butterflies" card so we could figure out what each of them were.

Oh, you know, just hanging out on this branch here.

The owl butterfly was my favorite. Look at how detailed those wings are! Too bad I wasn't fancy enough to get a picture of them spread. Yes, I am aware that I'm a weirdo.

2. Orangutans

Sometimes I eat food under the covers, too. No shame, Orangutan Man.

If you're a fan of ape houses/exhibits, then you know that they -- orangutans, in particular -- are...well...slow. And kind of boring. And sleepy. So that's what I expected. I did not, however, expect to watch a family of orangutans eat and play around under the covers (tee hee) in beds of grassy hay stuff.

Wouldn't let me get a picture, this one.

Nor did I expect this guy to BARREL ROLL to the corner, blanket in tow. OR play peekaboo with the They were so animated and totally knew that the volunteer woman (who was a fountain of information. Seriously, keepers love us.) was talking to them. I was pleasantly surprised.

Now, for the #1 pick. Drum roll, please...

1. Chimpanzees

This guy? Also a big fan of my ring.

This guy (girl? didn't check the plumbing) looked right at me. Is this glass tinted? Does he/she know I'm there? It doesn't matter. I am convinced he looked at me. And I looked at him. And then I sat next to him -- the only thing separating us was the glass -- and I watched him. For a good 10-15 minutes.

Look at that hand, minus the dirty nails. Isn't it insane how similar we are to them?

It is amazing to me just how genetically similar we are to these creatures. How they use their hands to climb trees, find food, and pick their noses...and I can do that too! What a fascinating world we live in, to be able to learn about where we came from, in some way, from these animals. And they probably think we're the idiots, walking around and looking at them while they have an endless supply of food in a safe, predator-free habitat.

Meanwhile, Jason was on the other side of the exhibit doing this:

*facepalm*

Maybe some of us are more apelike than I thought.

The Engagement, In (Mostly) Photos

About a week ago, Jason and I took a two-tiered mini vacation. The first stop was to meet up with my (blood and chosen) families to watch one of my dearest friends, Michael (he goes by Mike, but meh), marry his now-wife, Jamee, in the-middle-of-nowhere western Illinois. It was beautiful, they did great, and I only cried a little bit.

The second stop was an extended stay in St. Louis. Based on how much he talks about it, I'd venture to say this is one of Jason's favorite cities. He'd been begging me to visit and witness the true magic of being a Cardinal fan since we started dating, so I figured I'd finally oblige. Our plan was to go to Six Flags, the St. Louis zoo, the Gateway Arch, and catch a few Cardinals games.

Oh. And apparently get engaged.

On our second day in St. Louis, we met up with Jason's brother, Chad, his sister-in-law, Kate, and their kids, Eli and Rachel, in the morning to visit the Arch. They come with camera and camcorder in tow to "take pictures of and videotape the kids." I realize now that this was at least a half lie. But at the time, I was too busy looking at the gigantic metal thing to notice.

But seriously, this thing is massive.

So we get inside, go up the tiny, yet space-age pods to the viewing area, and it's super gorgeous. Full of people, but man, what a view. I've been told this was Proposal Plan A, but Jason didn't like the crowd, so he went for Proposal Plan B.

A beautiful view of the city. And I only had to sit in a tiny pod with strangers to see it!

The other viewing area, which was lackluster. Jason really liked the casino, though. Priorities.

A wonky selfie. And look at that smug grin! He knows! That bugger knows what he's about to do and I'm all like, "Ooooh a helipad on the water! I thought it was a basketball court!"

There it is. The first stuffed bear of the west. 'Murica.

After taking in the Museum of Westward Expansion, in which the kids thought the mechanical humans were real humans and I decided I wanted to live in a teepee, we walked out to a leg of the arch to "take more pictures." I mean, I understand the parental need to document the lives of the children, but more pictures? Really? I was hungry, and I really wanted to get to the stadium to have a snack and drink watch a fantastic baseball game. But the kids are cute, and Chad and Kate are so, so nice (see that great family plug, Jason? ;) ), so a few more pictures weren't going to hurt.

And now, the main event. The documentation of our engagement. In photos.

We stand in front of the graffiti and Jason INSISTS on holding my hand like this. This is not how we take pictures. As you can see, I am so not amused.

You can tell Jason is concentrating really hard because he's clenching his fist. I'm still annoyed, but I put on a happy face for the camera.

Whoops! Jason, you've fallen. Why don't you come back up and we can take a real photo where you put your arm around me and stuff? Then we can all go get a beer!

Holy god. This is not a drill. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Jason's speech: Kim, you have changed my life for the better...

...I can't do this right now. I'll tell you later. Will you marry me?

So I guess I got emotional when he pulled out the ring. I don't recall this, but I don' recall much of any of it.

Typical woman. Always crying over emeralds. (Fun fact: Jason said I didn't have to shower OR worry about how I looked that day. So there I am, sweaty, smelly, ponytail full of bumps, mosquito bites all over my legs, carrying a cat wristlet, all because this guy doesn't think a proposal isn't worth a shower.)

Eh. I said yes anyway. Actually, I didn't say yes at all. I just nodded vigorously. My mom was impressed that Jason is the only person in this world to render me speechless. Way to go, dude.

Jason: Let me show you the ring again.
Me: Uhh, you know you have to put that on my hand, right?

Jason: OH RIGHT! I forgot about that.
This man would lose his head if it weren't on his shoulders.

On goes the ring.

When we hugged, Rachel shouted, "They love each other!" I am so upset that I didn't hear it.

Obligatory engagement kiss.

Close up of the gorgeous ring. And, coincidentally, my curling iron burn. Cried over that one, too.

But seriously, that Arch is huge.

Thank you again, Chad and Kate, for calming Jason's nerves and documenting my favorite Labor Day of all time. A huge shout out to Princess Kitty -- without her (and a toddler meltdown), there is a good chance I would've seen the ring box go through the metal detector. And, of course, the kiddos deserve huge hugs for being so hilarious and entertaining; I was way too busy paying attention to them to notice how nervous and tense Jason was.

And the biggest thank you for all the well wishes from our family and friends. Jason and I are so lucky to have you all, we love you, and we're excited to get this show on the road!