Friends who have known me for any longer than a week know that my life goal is to own an animal shelter/sanctuary, save all the strays, and let them know they're all loved. (Even though some of them probably don't care. But whatever. I can save them and give them food and water.) Friends who know me better know that animals and I have a ... unique connection.
Examples:
1. I grew up with two golden retrievers (Brandy and Misty). I liked to crawl under their furry bellies (Misty was not a fan. Brandy gave zero shits.), hug them WAY too hard, eat their food and step in their water dish. So, of course, my first words were "woof woof." My mother was not pleased.
2. There is a photo of me kissing a dead fish. That probably was payback for my first words...
3. Animals that have injured me in some way: Dog (bite, no blood), cat (so many bites and scratches), bunny (bite), guinea pig (bite), hamster (bite), horse (requested a dismount by falling over and nearly rolling on my dad and me. Gave dad two black eyes), ram (knocked over, aka "rammed"), goose (goosed), giraffe (see #4), ostrich (bite)...that may be it.
4. I once went on a family trip the circus. I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7 because I was wearing my hot pink pineapple shirt.
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| It looked like this, but with sleeves. The pineapple was cooler, too. |
So anyway, we went to the circus. Afterward, there was a petting zoo area where families could walk through and see some of the animals that were in the show. I assume there was somewhere you could feed them, but my parents tried to avoid those areas at all costs; they KNEW I would spend an hour there rationing balls of grain to llamas and goats. It was my thing. (Surprisingly, it still is my thing, but I'm much better at reading the signs of boredom in others' faces these days.)
I remember staring at the giraffes. I was so close to them! I only saw them in zoos! They were so cool, so awkwardly graceful. And then my family vanished. They weren't next to me like they were two (or was it 15?) minutes ago, and I got nervous. I spun around, scanning the area for Mom, when I felt a yank at my shirt. At the same time, I heard my mom shout, "KIMMIE!!!" and run toward me. I thought she was so happy to see me again and maybe she was going in for a hug.
Wrong.
She ran behind me and started whacking at my shirt. I tried to turn around, and got a quick glimpse of the sad and hurt giraffe as her long neck retreated back into the cage.
Side note: Hands down, my favorite memory of my mother.
5. I once let a goat out of the pen at Brookfield Zoo.
6. I once left my stroller to "play with the elephants" at Brookfield Zoo.
7. I once shoved my hand into a cage to "pet the kitty" (bobcat) at Brookfield Zoo.
8. I have kissed so many frogs and toads. Still no prince.
9. I cry when any animals die in movies, and I refuse to watch movies in which animals are killed.
The point is, I love all creatures great and small, even if they don't love me. I don't mean to sound like a sap, but that love has been multiplied by a billion since the day I met Ophelia.
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| She's such a prima donna. |
Disclaimer: People think I'm a crazy cat lady because I have three cats. For the record, two of the cats came as a package deal with the boyfriend, and although we are on good terms, they are not my cats. Proof? They're on Jason's schedule. If it's not dinner and Jason's at work, they're sleeping on his bed. When he gets home, all hell breaks loose and they're super playful. And when he wants to go to bed? Fuji sleeps behind his legs and Dakota sleeps on his old pants. They did not choose me, and they make sure I know it.
That said, I freaking love my cat.
I promised myself two things during college: 1. I would live alone my senior year, and 2. I would get a pet. I wanted a dog, I really did, but I wasn't willing to pay a nonrefundable deposit, and I knew my work at the Star would keep me from devoting the time and attention my hypothetical dog needed. Dogs cost a crapton of money; the family dog -- Amber T. -- goes through $60ish dollars of dog food a month. That's a lot of food...and poop. Plus, I wanted to agility train my future dog, and there wasn't much room anywhere. At the time, I knew a cat was the best for me.
I had rules for the cat, too.
1. No kittens. I needed an adult cat. Like a puppy, a kitty would take too much time, and I spent a lot of time at the office. Plus, rates were better for adult cats older than six months. I was on a budget, yo.
2. Younger, agile adult wanted. Like a young cat, a senior cat likely would have more medical expenses and need more attention. I'm in no way against adopting older animals; I would love to do that some day. But one needs to have a little extra cash for vet visits. Mainly I wanted to be this kitty's entire life, like every forever home should be.
3. She needed to perch. I once knew a cat who would hop onto my back and climb onto my shoulder. It was the coolest thing ever. I wanted one of those.
4. No aloof cats. You know what I'm talking about. The ones that hide in the corner or stare at you from the top of the kitty condo. Eff those cats. Come love me.
5. NO LONG HAIR CATS. I was set on this. I could not deal with an obscene amount of hair. Many of my friends were allergic to cats, and I found out via live experiments that my parents and sister were, too. The shorter hair, the better. Naked cats were not an option, either, in case you were wondering.
I was 4 for 5. I call that a win.
One day in late July 2011, my nearest and dearest friend Nora and I took a trip to TAILS Humane Society. She is terribly allergic to cats, but she suffered in silence so I could pick out my new best friend. (I promise I asked her about 10 times if she was sure she wanted to come. I didn't just make her do it. Geez. What kind of person do you think I am?) We visited three cat rooms with no luck. I didn't have that bond with any of them, and Nora's face was really red and watery.
Downtrodden (and at Nora's urging), we visited the last cat room. I sat down in the plastic lawn chair and waited. Out of nowhere, this tiny, furry, calico mess trotted over and hopped into my lap. She plopped down, looked up at me, and I knew I was her's.
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| Two sassy peas in a pod. |
I returned a week later with her new, green carrying case (which she hates), signed the paperwork and took her home. She hid behind the toilet for an hour, but other than that, she was fine. She deemed my bed as her bed, sat on my lap whenever I ate, and indulged me with her antics. Ugh. I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH.
I learned she was least part Maine Coon when she insisted on drinking water out of the bathroom faucet. Until then, I just thought she liked talking to me. And birds. And squirrels. And other people. And bugs...all of the bugs.
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| She's actually yawning here, but you get my point. Also, WTF picture? |
I taught her to perch. I'm sure I have scars to prove it was a difficult journey. I think it took at least a year. But look how cute she is once she learned:
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| This is still touch and go. Sometimes she's good at it, sometimes she claws my bare skin. |
I'm pretty sure I dote on her like a mother dotes on her human children. I take waaaayyyy to many pictures of her. I think every time she fetches a hair tie is funny. I'm her catnip dealer, and I cannot get over how silly she is when she's nipping out. I've chased her around the room with a squirt bottle in the middle of the night because she wouldn't stop playing with that goddamn tweeting toy. I've apologized profusely when I scream at her for hurting me because I know she didn't mean it, and I probably shouldn't have pet her on her back leg anyway. I'm certain she understands my feelings and knows when it's a good time to nap with me.
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| Best picture ever. |
She's special. I'm sure everyone says that about their pets, but whatever. She's the most special. She filled a hole my heart never knew it had, and when she inevitably goes to the great kitty condo in the sky, it'll crush me in 20 different ways. But I don't think about it too much. Right now, I just worry about which one of Jason's cats she's going to tear apart first. Today, it's Fuji.
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| One of her letting me kiss her. She fell asleep on me like this for a solid half hour. |
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| And one of us holding hands. Because we're best furry friends. |
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