1. The way they handle ice/wintry mix/snow is appalling.
We all saw what happened in Atlanta earlier in the week, and although I find it hilarious, the truth is that even with my northern sensibilities, I refuse to drive in slick conditions down here because NO ONE ELSE CAN DRIVE in them, either. Allow me to explain:
In Chicago/the suburbs/northern Illinois, people are aware of snow and ice. And although it isn't pleasant (and y'all sure have been getting dumped on with that stuff), northerners manage to get to and fro with few troubles. Add to that a knowledge of shoveling and God's greatest gift to Earth -- salt -- and it sucks, but it's not TOO bad. Go slow, anticipate sliding, and you're fine.
The problem with Little Rock is that it rarely gets below freezing, and when it does, it's for, like, a day. This winter has brought the "worst ice storms ever," but that's mostly because they're woefully unprepared. And why would you be, with 50- to 60-degree temperatures throughout January? *Facepalm* Let me break it down in a simple equation:
Few plows + sand (which is "better" than salt) + hills + disregarding common traffic laws = one helluva mess
Now imagine the slowest driver you ever encountered. Reduce the speed that car was driving by...10-15 mph, and you have 90 percent of Arkansan winter drivers. Example: Jason and I passed a cop going 30ish on a highway that was nearly clear of snow and ice. We were going about 50. At first I was concerned about passing the guy, but then I thought: Hey, even if he wants to pull us over, he probably can't catch us. I was right.
The other 10 percent of drivers pretend the snow doesn't exist, and those are the cars you see in the ditch. I can't imagine their drifting skills are that high.
The only prepping Arkansans actually do for awful weather is clear the shelves at Kroger/Walmart to stock up on food and shut EVERYTHING down. Nevermind that a ton of them live on hills and need to throw down some salt (if it even exists down here); they just hang out in their houses until it melts. And these hills are steep. I should know; we live at the top of a hill and have a 40 degree incline to get into our garage. When it sleets, we park in the cul-de-sac. When Jason and I went to see this place before we moved in, we had to CRAWL up the slushy yard because the driveway was too icy to walk up. There was a lot of scooting on my tush that day. So, yeah, basically it's a hot mess.
And just in case you cared, winter weather tools aren't a priority here, either. I watched a woman use a wooden pole to beat the crap out of the ice chunks on her driveway...to no avail. Salt, people, salt!!
2. Heaters in the south are not like heaters in the north.
Northerners rely on gas or electric heat for the winter; in the south, it's all about the heat pumps. Again, because it doesn't get too cold too often down here, no one really cares about (what I like to call) properly heating their homes. They have a heat pump, which basically works as a heater/air conditioner hybrid. Now I'm all for energy efficiency/green technology, but I'm also about having a warm house when the cold days blow in. The heat pump pulls in the outside air, warms it, and pumps it through the vents...but it isn't that good at making really really cold air warm, which means my heat maxes out at 64 (if I'm lucky) on days like today. Plus, cold days make the heat pump run continuously, so it's oftentimes better to turn it off and retain the warmish air for a while.
Needless to say, I'm wearing multiple layers, a hat, and fleece blankets until Tuesday. If I don't get frostbite and die.
3. Turn signals? Optional.
When Jason and I first started dating, I criticized his driving. A lot. (He'll tell you that it's never stopped, but I like to think I've eased up a little.) His worst habit was (and is when I'm not in the car with him...I may have followed him a few times) his absolute refusal to use a turn signal. It's like the thought of, "Huh, maybe I should tell the person behind me where I'm going," never occurred to him. Need to turn right? Just slow down. Want to lane change? Turn your wheel and hope for the best.
Jason's excuse for this was, "But that's what they do where I'm from/the south." My retort was, "No, that's what idiot drivers do before they get killed. Now stop being an unlawful piece of work and use your goddamn turn signal." (Maybe I didn't use all of these words in that exact order, but you get my point.)
But, and I hate saying it, he was right. Turn signals are optional. It's a freaking free-for-all, and I am extra paranoid that if the hills don't get me, some dude slamming on his breaks to make a left will. Whenever I leave Target, I count the cars with a blinky back light. Usually it's just me. And I don't get it. Is it that hard? Does it require that much more thought? Mind. Freaking. Boggling.
I don't know why I felt like writing this. It pretty much drained the effort I set aside for today. Oh well; I'll just clean the bathroom tomorrow.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up on the couch with a couple of kitties and stuff my face while rooting for the "wrong" team for a few hours. Go tweet tweets!
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