(One-Person) Costume Party

Growing up, I was quite the theatre kid.

Mmm...I'm not sure if that's the best way to put it. I didn't slide out of the womb (which, as we already know, was a long and laborious *PUN* process) screaming a Shakespearean soliloquy, nor did I particularly care to perform on a stage. (Three fantastic examples back this up. 1. I got in trouble with my parents for not practicing my part as an angel in the Sunday school nativity. 2. Video footage of piano recitals. 3. I attempted to cast myself as the a) writer b) stage manager and c) sound effect coordinator in elementary school skits.) Rather, what started as a slightly unorthodox way of continuing my education with my 5th grade teacher blossomed into a 10-year creative outlet, one that shaped my life in more ways than I ever thought imaginable.

There were also theatre boys. Many theatre boys. I'm fairly certain that my 13-year-old self liked all of them at one point or another. Because boys. Anyway...

One of my favorite parts of the rehearsal process was the costume hunt. As a community theatre running through the local park district, there was a limited supply of pieces in our closet, and when it came to buying new clothes, cheaper was always better. Usually, this meant thrift store shopping. In my case, it meant, "Mom, I need a costume for my play!" Mom would make said costume, and it was grand, even if I had to "help" her. (Mom eventually did stop making me costumes, and thrifting became another fun thing, but that story doesn't go with the pictures, so...)

My mother left me a bag of costumes when she came to visit. One night, I decided to relive my glory days and do this:

Heyyyyyyy

COSTUME PARTY!

So without further ado, a look back at stunning fashion pieces created circa 2002. I know, I know. You're welcome.

1. Elizabeth Proctor (wearing Purple Puritan by Moms Who Sew)

With such an on-trend outfit, I cannot see why John Proctor ever slept with Abigail.

So I guess this is what a farmer's wife would look like during the time of the Salem with trials, which is when Arthur Miller's "The Crucible" took place. My mother actually did research for this project, and she learned that because Elizabeth was not a lady of the town (aka she was busy getting shit done on a farm), she would not be dressed in the typical black and white garb of the townswomen. As a teenage girl, I was pretty pumped that I got to wear a less ugly costume. And my mom made it, so they really couldn't say no.

This is what Elizabeth Proctor would look like dancing. Too bad dancing was a sin. Or witchcraft.

Good ol' Puritans liked everything covered, so a high neckline and long sleeves were just about right for the summer.

The apron is awesome. I have considered using it while cooking dinner. But that's probably because I cook in bare feet and shorts. I am the poster child for kitchen safety.

Put that apron back on! This is too revealing!

The cut on this dress is really weird, but historically accurate? Hell if I know. It's not quite empire, but it's not really much of anything else. Also, I couldn't zip it up all the way in the back because SURPRISE! I put on a few pounds since I last wore this 12 years ago. OR I got boobs. Your call.

2. Beth March (wearing Feverish Floral by Moms Who Sew)

I'd like to think that if Beth didn't die of Scarlet Fever, she would've been a hot school marm.

Let me be the first to tell you that I look way better in this now than I ever did when I was 11-12 years old. The girls are attempting to bust out, to no avail.

Fun fact: I styled my hair to match how I wore it during the performances. I remember weird things.

Here's the full outfit. Beth got a matching vest to make her look more like a Civil War era kid, and I wore the slip to my mother's wedding dress to make the skirt really puffy. AND I got to play a song on the piano in the middle of the performance. But really, my crowning achievement was dying onstage from Scarlet Fever, an illness that I've had three times in real life. I was made for this role.

Civil War era apron, or straightjacket?

I'm not sure if I ever wore this on stage. Maybe I should wear it to cook dinner in; get some use out of it, you know?

Little birds in their nests agree!

And here's what Beth would've looked like if she lived to see the age of selfies. But she didn't. She died.

3. ...uh...what is this?

I'm a little hippie, short and pink.

My mother is convinced this was a costume in a show, and I can guarantee you it's not. I've never seen this before in my life. But what the hell, I'll try it on.

It fit remarkably well but was super see-through. Like, these are the only two pictures that didn't reveal my underwear see-through. But look at that detail in the sleeves! And what a cute neckline. I could've rocked this, provided I was cast in the right show...as the lead hippie.